Holiday time

It was the Thanks Giving holiday........ which it dont really care for. The white man came over here robbed the Indians and thats we're celebrating. No thanks I'll pass, but I most definately came thru for dinner tho. And lets not forget black Friday, this is the really holiday for me. I was up in Toys R Us at 1 in the morning with the rest of the parents fighting over toys............ Side note to black people............ White people might be afraid of you in the streets, but in a toy store......STRAIGHT GANGSTA...... I mean it. I aint talking about the men either, I'm talkng about the women. The ones that look like Martha Stuart at that. They do not play!!!!! But I did get most of things my son wanted off the list. My daughter, who jus turned 1 month is good...... for now. I could get her an empty soda bottle and she'd still be happy. Yes people this is the exiciting life of a father, but I'm :) tho

Following God

I've recently made a decision to follow God and become saved, I would like to say that my life has gotten easier since that day, but I would be lying. It seems like everything has gotten worse, negative things just keeps happening to me..... I mean one after the other to the point where Its expected. You lose alot of people too. I began to have doubts............. Until I realize that I must be on the right path. Why else would the devil go thru such great lengths to try and deter me. To try and break me and bring me back down. But God is good and I continue to edure, thru out my ordeals he has never left my side and like the loyal friend I am........... I will never leave his. I struggles I am going thru is a small price to pay for the peace and joy that comes with my journey.

We gotta learn how to help eachother

One thing that I realized about other writers.........THEY DO NOT LIKE TO HELP EACHOTHER! I used to ask other more established writers what they and how they got put on hoping to get some real advise....... All these MF's did was give me some bullshit answer that was useless and kept it moving. It was allllll good tho I went found the answers I needed and formulated my own game plan. I try not to be like them, anyone who has ever asked me a question about writing a book, I always help them to the best of my ability and encourage them in any way I can. I know alot of you who read my blog are writers yourself, or are avid readers who thought about writing a book.............. So what I'm gonna do is tell you how I started and what I did.
First off let me say that everyone has a story to tell, whether its events that took place in your life or just an idea you have, we all have a story to tell. The only difference between you and a writer is that a writer found a way to tell his story and profited. So like so many readers I always had these ideas in my head and I would tell them to a friend of mine who'd really like them. After I decided that this was what I was going to do I got a composition note book. Please pay attention to the last part. I said after I decided that I wanted to be a writer I got a COMPOSITION NOTEBOOK, not a $1200 laptop, but $2 notebook. Thats all you need, and I began to write down everything. it was scattered at first and unorganized but I wrote down all my ideas and thoughts in my book. Everywhere I went I had it and as soon as something came to me I wrote it down. Then I did my research. I googled everything, anything I wanted to kno was right there online. Topics like "how to write a book", "how to copyright your book," and "how to publish your books" were what I spent hours reading about. I also would read about famous authors and how they came up. I studied their strategies and tried to see if it could work for me. I entered writing contest and most importantly I started networking and trying to showcase my work on Facebook. I also started a blog, which u already know.......coz ur reading it now.......lame joke, I'm sorry........ but find a platform for your work so people can see it and judge for themselves. Most importanly learn how to listen and not take things personal. The negative criticisms are the most important ones. Take it in analyze it and see how u can imporove. IIIII Think thats about it....... for now anyway. I'm no where close to where I want to be as far as my goals, but I'm one step closer. I hope I was of some help to someone today who wanted to take that first step but didnt know how. Be blessed

Fatherhood

Whats everyone sorry for being MIA for so long but fatherhood is kicking my ass...... I have my daughter in one hand * who is growing beautifully* in one hand trying to comfort her and I have my son pulling my other hand telling me to play cars with him... And I use the words "telling me" because to him its not a request. Sleep! Forget it. That doesnt exist anymore. I get puked on, peed on and ish on my hands. This is definately no walk in the park, but I'm holding my own. Its rough but beautiful.

As far as my writing goes, I'm still on it. Never stop...... thats my rule. Deal or no deal you keep writing and stacking your material so when its time to go in u have ur amo ready to unleash on em. Trying meet some new people right now network. Thats what everyone keeps telling me. U gotta network. Its all about who u kno and who they. So thats my focus right now. This weekend I'm trying to put togeather an interview and post it on Youtube so people can see the man behind the words. This is either gonna turn alotta people on or turn them off. Real recognize Real, so thats what I'm banking on. Til next time people hold ya head and remember that between a dream and success lies a struggle. 1

Spike Lee vs Tyler Perry.SMH

I was shocked and a little angered by the comments Spike Lee made about Tyler Perry. For those dont kno what I'm talking about please google it or Youtube..... My first love had always been movies. Before I wrote my book, I had wrote a sceenplay that I had hoped to turn into a movie someday. Due to lack of funds however i was forced to put that on hold..........for now. Growing up I had always admirred Spike Lee, not just for his work but for who he is. Thats why I was shocked that he would throw shots at another brother openly infront of white America. If he had an opinion and felt a certain way, he should have spoken to Tyler Perry in private man to man. Sorry Spike I love you but I cant respect what you did and the way you went about it. You may not like Tyler Perry's film, maybe its not your taste, but you have to respect his drive. Here is a man who went from being homeless to becoming one of the biggest names in Hollywood. Yes we need black films that bring awareness and moves us, but we also need black films that makes us laugh........ Why is it a problem for a black film maker to poke fun at himself, whites do it all the time......Example: Married with children...... There's obviously a market for it, his movies are making millions of dollars. Bottom line is Spike is older and more experienced than Tyler, he should be trying to help him up, instead of breaking him down.....................

Ten tips on how to survive your woman's pregnancy

We all know that a woman being pregnant is a beautiful thing. She is bringing life into the world and its a very special time, but for a man those nine months could be a nightmare........ So I've put togeather a list of tips for men on how to make it through those nine months without losing your mind......... and a lil blood.

Tip number 1- Dont argue with her. Let me say that again to reinforce it. DON'T ARGUE WITH HER!!!!!!!!!! Coz your gonna lose, even if your right your gonna be wrong at the end of the arguement.... and your gonna end up apologizing and feeling like shit. Here's what you say when a conflict arise... "Your right and I'm sorry" and shut the fuck up.

Tip number 2- Keep her fed..... A hungry pregnant woman is a angry pregnant woman, so feed her. Take her out to a nice restaurant once in awhile and cater to her cravings.

Tip number 3- Learn how to duck.... This tip is just incase you didn't follow tip number 1..... Cause whatever is in her hand she's gonna throw it at you..... and she will be aiming directly for your head.

Tip number 4- Tell her she's beautiful. You'll get mad points for this.

Tip number 5- Give her plenty of hugs. She's real emotional during these months and needs that support.

Tip number 6- Dont buy anything big for yourself. If you do you better not let her know, coz your gonna have to resort to tip number 3 again.

Tip number 7- Stop hanging out and partying. She cant do any of those things and since you help make the baby, she expects you to take that ride with her.

Tip number 8- Buy a book on expectant mothers...... You aint really gotta read it, just keep it around so she can see it. Again you'll mad points for this.

Tip number 9- Stop messing with your side chicks.....I mean it, for them nine months you better make sure that any woman that calls your phone is a relative.

Tip number 10- Is simple, remember that if she aint happy your not gonna be happy......... So make her happy.

I'm no Dr. Phil, but I'm on my second kid and these are the things that I've learned. and you better believe I had to learn tip number 3 the hard way.

Sacrifice is the price we pay for the good in our life

I often wonder why the bad is so much easier to believe than the good. Why I often question when a women tells me she loves me and quickly accept it when she doesn't??? Why when I recieve a gift I look for the strings that are attached to it???? Why when I find joy I await the pain that I believe will surely follow??? I wonder if this is part of my character and personality. Something I was born with, Or maybe this the way I built myself. Designing my heart never to be broken.
I know I'm not the only one....... Sometimes behind her nasty attitude and slick talk is a woman whose been hurt. Maybe when she doesn't sleep with you, it isn't because she's playing hard to get. Someone before took advantage of her and trust doesn't come easily anymore. Maybe she pushes you away out of hopes that you will pull her closer. She Builds walls not to keep you out, but to see if you love her enough to climb over instead of walking away...................... We give up too easily. "Sacrifice is the price we pay for the good in our life"

Its been a while

Whats up people..... I know its been a while since I've posted anything, I've just been busy preparing for the birth of my daughter Zaina Campbell. Kinda nervous about having a little girl because I cant raise her the same way I raise my son. My son acts up and I rough him up........ How am I gonna rough up my daughter????SMH.... When I'm in the streets and my son gotta pee, I just let him pee on a car. I know u ladies are probably laughing at me saying thats no big deal but for a man it is..... At least for me. Then I'm gonna have to deal with boys and her wanting to go out.SMH. Then she's gonna wanna wear tight clothes some day.....Lawd help me. One thing I am happy about is that I've always treated women with respect and I've never done them dirty. Coz u kno Karma is some real shit. I have a friend whose a dog, I mean a real piece of shit when it comes to women and he has not one but three daughters. Soooo u kno he be worried.
Other than that I been good, took a break from writing, but as of today I'm back on it. I've decided to put out another book while I'm waiting for a deal. I've also been entering short story contests. One thing I've learned from friends who are up and coming rappers, You always gotta keep grinding and putting out material. Their work ethics is crazy!!! I have alotta respect for them and they're who I turn to for advise. I'm back on it so keep ya eyes open people.

I still believe

I close my eyes and I can hear the cries of a million lonely souls. In the midst of it all I hear my name being called by one.............. Many dont believe in true love anymore, maybe they've had their heart broken so many times that the thought of someone loving them unconditonal and without boundaries seems unrealistic. They've given up and lowered their expectations of love and the things it brings and just decided to settle for someone who they wont argue with too much....... Which is understandable, But I still believe tho. There's a need, a wanting deep down inside of me that someone has yet to satisfy and I believe its because I haven't met the right person. I know what true love is without a doubt............ Because I have felt it and like a drug addict chasing that first high, I too continue to chase that person who will make every day feel better than the one before, Who will make loving her easy, whose smile causes you to smile, even when u feel like crying. With all that love to has to offer I cant understand why people would want to give up on it and settle for less???? All those heart breaks will only make it feel that much better once you've found it..

Two years Now

Its been two years now since I began writing seriously and one of the most frequently asked questions by my haters and those that doubt me is that "what if this writing thing doesnt workout for you?????" And my response is "Thats minor to me" My biggest fear about pursuing my dream isnt that I will fail.................It is that I will not reach my full potential as a writer. I realized tho that the only way that can happen is if I give up, which I have vowed never to do. Even If I never become rich from it, atleast at the end of the day I'll know that I tried and I have no regrets. I dont want to look back at my life at fifty and say "Man, I was a good writer, I wonder what would have happened if I had went at it???" I also want to be able to tell my son when he gets older to follow his dream and the best way to do that is to be an example to him. My heart hurts everytime I get rejected but it breaks when I hear "Your a good writer and a few years ago you would have had a deal but its not like that anymore." Its hard to bounce back but some how I always do. God gave me something wonderful and special and it would be ungrateful of me not to use it, so no matter what I'm gonna keep writing. I know alot of people ignore my link to my blog, but for the few that do take time out to read.............Thank you. I appriciate every single one of you. Be blessed

There is no gray with me

I see things and situations only as black and white, there is no gray area with me. Your either with me or your not. Your either gonna do something or your not. Your either serving God or the devil. This is the core of my character, what I've built myself around. There are some that say that my way of thinking is wrong because there is a gray area in everything and I should learn how to bend the rules. Now let me ask you this, would you do a crime with a partner who had a gray area in his thinking????? Would you marry a woman who had a gray area when she took her vows??????? Would you follow a pastor who had a gray area????? Those that are close to me and who knows me.........loves me for the fact that I only deal in black and white. Cause when I say I got ya back there is no question about it. I'll ride fa u til the wheels fall off........ and when I tell a woman she's the only one for me, trust and believe that I'll be coming home every night. One thing I still believe in and always will............ A man's word should always hold weight and his character should speak for it self.

Why ask for the truth??

Women ask for the truth knowing deep down that they really dont want it. Knowing that they would rather their man lie than tell them how it really is. Sometimes a man wants to come clean and just get everything off his chest. "Yes I was with her last night, yes I slept with her and yes I am falling inlove with her." But looking into her eyes and seeing her frality and kowning our next words could shatter her world..........We Lie....... Although her lips are asking for the truth, her eyes are begging us to lie to her and tell her what she wants to hear. "No I wasn't with her, she ment nothing to me and yes your the only woman I love." I have witnessed a situation where a friend of mine got caught out there by his girl and he told a lie sooooo outrageous that only a child would believe it, but his girl believed him. I realize now that she wasn't stupid and that she really didn't believe the lie, but rather chose to accept it. women dont believe the lies men tell they just accept it as the truth...... and in the end "the things we accept are the things we regret"

Negative People

I want everyone who reads this blog to stop, take a couple of minutes, look at all the people thats in your life right now and think about whose building you up and whose bringing you down............................................................. Finished??????? Now tell me why are the people who are bring you down still in your life????? Whether if its your spouse or a family member you gotta cut them loose so you can rise to the top.
A few years ago I started looking at and analyzing the ones I called friends....... After a while I realized that alot of them didnt deserve that title and I had to cut them loose. From my home boy who was secretly jealous of me and was always happy when failed. To my boy that I knew since I was 8 who only called my phone when he need something. To the bitchass ni**a who was no where to be found when shit hits the fan. All of them got a "fuck You" and a dial tone. It is what it is. Now I keep my circle very small, I only surround myself with positive people who are real and I've never been happier.

WORDS

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" Who ever came up with saying must have had no concept of life or the make up of a man. Your body will heal from the physical damage done to it, but words leave wounds on the heart, the mind and the soul........ and these wounds are the hardest to heal. Some may take years and some never does. We all know that words hurt women............. we know this because they cry. Women have this luxury. I call it a luxury because its something a man can not do after someone close to him uses hurtful words. I doubt that women know how much damage they do to a man during an argument. Certain things should not be said to a man by his woman and all ya'll ladies kno what they are, because every woman knows her man and knows what subjects are off limits, but you choose to use them anyway. Sometimes it would be better if you hit us with a baseball bat, because that would hurt alot less. Time will pass and you may make up, but those words are never forgotten. Sometimes a wall is built from those words, seperating you from him and thats when another woman steps in. Some men are dogs and they cheat because they just want sex, but some men......good men cheat for this reason. The next time u get into an argument with your man and you feel like saying certain things to him, stop, think about it and ask yourself if its worth losing him......

Whats worse than being alone and lonely?????

Is having someone right next to you and still feeling lonely. Alot of people are in relationships that aren't making them happy or even satisfying their basic human needs. For whatever reason they remain, whether its for the kids, financial or just out of fear of not finding someone else, they stay. What they dont realize is that they're not just wasting time, but they're also wasting they're love, they're affection, and most importantly special moments that could be spent with someone who really appreciates them. Someone who notices when they're happy and comforts them when they're sad, someone who kisses them for no reason and pulls them close when a special song comes on, someone who holds their hand on the way home from a late night date, someone who makes love to them and not just have sex........ and yes there is a difference....... a big one. Someone who who you cant wait to see instead of someone you hope wont be home when you get there and when they do get home you hope that your asleep by then. You think that you'll be losing by leaving, but you'll be losing alot more by staying.

Michael Vick VS Chris Brown

Michael Vick went to prison for his crimes while Chris Brown got probation.............Am I the only one who thinks that there's something seriously fucked up about this????? For those who are not familiar with Vick, he's a football player who was caught having organized dogfights at his house. For his crime he served 23 months in prison. While Chris Brown who beats up on his girlfriend gets absolutely no time in prison. On top of that people are still angry at Michael Vick while everyone is willing to over look his crime. I'm not taking up for Vick or saying what he did was right. I'm against cruelty against animals especially dogfighting, but he paid for his crime. Two years in prison is no walk in the park. Brown only got probation. What message does this send to society??????? That we value the saftey of dogs more than black women. That a crime against a dog is worse than a crime against a black woman.......... On another note I see R. Kelly is making a come back. Another one who violated a young black female who got off without any punishment for his crime. But I how can I be mad at them when I see black woman screaming for him and showing him and Brown so much love. Pumping their music and dancing to it "thats my jam girl" I myself will never by another R. Kelly album and I could careless about what his bitchass is up to. Chris Brown, we all make mistakes, but also gotta pay for them too brother. Food for thought...............

Don't make me over

There's a song titled "Dont make me over" by Sybil, if you dont know it check it out. Its about a woman whose asking her man not to change her now that she's in love with him. This is a problem that happens to both male and female way too often. A woman meets a man and after he commits to her, she wants to "fix him up" despite the man feeling comfortable with himself. She wants to change how dresses, how he talks, his friends and his job. NOT COOL LADIES!!!!!!!
Women faces this problem also, a man meets a woman whose a little overweight and after a few months of having sex with her, he decides that he wants her to lose wieght. I believe that if you meet a person a certain way then you should not try to change them. If they weren't to your satisfation when you met them then you should have left them alone and found someone who fits the image that your looking for. Its different when your trying to introduce someone to new things, but when your trying to make over your mate there is going to be problems. The changes your suggesting can be harmful to a person's selfesteem. Your basically telling them that something is wrong with them and your not happy with them. Just food for thought people......

Women are not that complicated

Men are always bitching and complaining about how they dont understand women. How they're so complicated. If a man really wants to understand a woman all he has to do is pay attention to her. Pay attention to what amuses her, pay attention to what makes her go "Awwww", pay attention to what makes her angry, pay attention to what makes her cry and Most importantly and this is key to unlocking the secrets to any woman, Listen!!!!!! Women are constantly telling us what they need, but men are so self centered and selfish that we dont hear her. All we hear is words coming from her mouth, but we never take time to listen, interpret, and remember what she says. All a man has to do is put his needs to the side for 20 minutes every day, humble himself, give his woman a call and listen. His life would be so much easier.

When You smile I smile

It takes alot more love and strength to let go than to keep holding on. Time and time angain when you breaking up with someone they always talk about how much they love you and thats why they keep calling you and trying to win you back, but I feel like if you really love someone and if your not making them happy you should let them go. You should find happiness in knowing that they found someone to bring them the joy that you couldn't. I believe that when you truely love someone whatever they feel you feel. If they smile then you smile, If they cry then you should wanna cry too. I personal have had to let someone go who I really care about and watch her go off with another man and watch her smile because of him, but even tho it hurt like hell I smiled right along with her. Because I knew that she was truely happy and it didn't matter that I wasn't the the reason. All that mattered was that she was smiling.

Too many games

Remember when you were little and if you liked someone all you had to do was tell them and if they liked you back it would be a done deal. It was so simple, so pure. There were no hidden agendas, no games being played, no lies being told, no deception. It was just love in its purest form. Now as adults things are so different. Men lie about everything and women are always playing games. Men are always trying to get into the women's pants and women are always trying to get into the men's wallets. Just once I'd like to walk up to a woman I like and say "Hi, I think your very pretty and I like you." And then she would replye "I like you too. Would like to join me." But it will never happen, some how women look at you crazy if you say how you really feel without the games. They'd rather hear "Whats up beautiful, why are you sitting here all by yourself." So they can replye "How you know I'm by myself? You shouldn't assume things." And the games go on and on and on. Why?????????????

Being a father is a gift from God delivered through a woman

On August 20, 2005 my son was born and it was also the day a second chance was given and my life began. I was there when he enetered the world, watched him take his first breath and looked into his making a promise that I would always be there for him. Four years later I'm still here, I'm not perfect and I'm still making mistakes but I'm still here. Enjoying every minute of every hour with him. No matter how bad the world beats up on me, when his little arms wrap around my neck it all disappears. I can honestly say that I've never known a love like this before. This is a gift that could only have came from God above, delivered through a woman and I'm grateful to both.

pussy will get u killed faster than drugs or money

When I was 16 my older brother told me that pussy would get you killed faster than drugs or money and its been the best advise I've ever gotten. You hear about it all the time a guy in a club and he tries to hola at another man's lady, or guy is sleeping with someone's wife/girlfriend/babymama and he gets got. And finally the crazy ex who cant accept certain things and takes his frustration out on the new man with his 9.
Although a man is responsible for his own actions and he must face the consequences for them, women are partly to blame and in some situations all to blame. In the club a woman will be with her man and still be checking out other guys and some might even be flirting on the low. Sending the wrong signal to another man. Your basically leting the other guy know that your man is a chump and its alright to disrespect him and thats when shit gets ugly. Some women have boyfriends and dont let the guy on the side know and have the guy coming to pick her up from her house like everything is cool. Next thing you know bad timing and they meet up and shit gets ugly. Some women dont want to cut off their ex completely. They might break up with the ex but still be talking to them on the phone or meeting up them to have sex. Never really letting him go on his way. This makes the ex think that he is still apart of your life and he wont accept the fact that your not his girl when you do this. At the same your bring the new man around and just throwing it in his face. Again shit is gonna get ugly when the ex cant take it anymore. Ladies I'm not saying that your responsible for men and their egos getting out of controle and someone dying but you can help prevent it. Certain situations can be avoided if you do your part.

On Saturday when I went to the beach I noticed something that I couldn't get out of my head. There was this overweight guy not wearing shirt proudly parading his gut around with no problems. Then I noticed that this very attractive young with just a little baby fat was wearing a wrap over her bathing suite. It was a trend that observed through out the day. These guys who should really be ashamed of their bodies and how they let themselves go were comfortable and content with the way they look. While women who gave birth, who actually brought life into the world were ashamed of their streatchmarks that they earned during their pregnancey. So ladies please be proud of your bodies and dont hide it. Wear that two piece and make love with the lights on cause any real man will appreciate it and love the strength and wonder behind its marks and wrinkles.

Act like a lady think like a man- waste of money

Every where I go woman are talking about Steve Harvey's book and how its a life changer. Saying they're up on the games men play now. Well ladies I have news for you, it was a waste of money. I going to do for you in one sentence what Steve Harvey took 200 pages to do. If you wanted to understand men and be a sucka, all you have to do is TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!!!!!!
Thats it, nothing more to it. Your woman's intuition is more powerful than you think. If your gut instincts is telling you not to fuck with a man, listen to it. If you your intuition is telling that your man is cheating, chances are he is. When women talk to me about an ex that did them dirty, the always say the same thing. "I had a feeling........" Thats exactly what they say Everytime.
You want to know what I figured out about women........They dont listen, not even to themselves. Thats why I tell guys who think that Steve Harvey fuckd up their game by giving out out our secrets not to worry because it doesn't make a difference. Women are always going to follow their emotions. You can tell a woman that there's a tiger waiting around the corner to jump on her and she'll continue to walk in that direction. SMH. I just dont understand, but Steve did he made a killing off ya'll.

Behind the smile

I always have a smile on my face and I'm always joking. This is the Romeish people know. This the Romeish people like to be around. This the Romeish they love. But I wonder if they knew who I really was would they still love me. If they knew that I'd rather be crying than smiling, that there's nothing funny about my life, that after years my scars still hurt. Would they still wanna be around me. If I told them about my suicidal thoughts and and the voilence that I try to restrain, would they still think I was such a wonderful guy. I am who I am, I hide nothing when I write and for those who read this and still choose to ride with me.... Thank u

Dreams never die, you just give up

March of 2007 I began my writing career. At the time all I had was a black and white notebook and a head full of ideas and stories. Two years later I'm still struggling. Some people tell me I'm wasting my time and I should just give it up, but I cant. They say your book didn't sell and you wont make it, but I refuse to listen. I stay focused and keep pushing forward, because ten years from now I dont want to be sitting around wondering what if??? Whether I succeed or fail at least I'll know I gave it all I had and I can sit back and have no regrets. Keep chasing your dreams people and dont let no one discourage.

I had wrote a short story titled "A Fairy Tale" in which I posted in my notes on FaceBooks. Although its not the most popular of my stories, it means the most to me. Mainly because it depicts my own life and my struggle the most. All my work has a piece of me in it, but this one does a really good job of showing how I lost myself to the streets.
This story within a story speaks of a knight who sets out on a journey to slay a dragon and gets lost in the dark forest. Like wise the main character experiences the same thing and so did I with the dark forest representing the streets. On my right inner forearm there are three Chinese symbols tattooed there. They read Rightousness, Nobility and Courage. The three things that means the most to me. Like a knight has a code, this was mine, but over years of seeing the cold and heartless behavior of people in the streets, I started to become like them and lose myself. In the end however the Knight did find his way out of the dark forest and thankfully so did I. If you haven't checked it out yet, please do.

God answers prayers! Maybe not in the way you specified but he does answer them. I once prayed for a new life, as impossible as it may sound thats what I wanted. From start my life has been fucked up and I just wanted another chance, another life. God heard me and on August 20, 2005 he gave me that second chance, he gave me that new life. He gave it to me with the birth of my son and with his birthday approaching, I'm not only gonna celebrate his life but also the beginning of my new one.....As his father.

Today I wrote a new poem, although poetry isn't my strong point, its definately my fav. It allows me to express my feelings without actually saying how I feel and for anyone who is guarded you know how important that is. The newest poem titled "Justified" is about trying to get over a past love and how difficult it can be. To the point where you begin to lie to yourself and fool yourself into thinking that they meant nothing to you. We all been there and there are some thats still in denial right now.
The second poem I posted on FaceBook was "Defenseless" and its basically about how I got my heartbroken and I built this wall around it so that I would never get hurt again. I would fight my feelings so that I wouldn't fall in love with a woman I'm seeing. Until I met one special one that I couldn't fight what I was feeling for her so I gave up and just fell for her. I encourage everyone to write a poem of some sort. Its a really good way of getting some ish off your chest.

It takes more strength to let go than to keep holding on

Its been a month since my brother past away and I'm finally beginning to come to terms and accept it. I occupy my time with work and people, never really taking time to think and reflect on it. Yesterday for the first time I actually looked at his picture and really thought about him. I both smiled and cried, sorrow and joy both filled me at the same time.The memories came flooding back and I realized that they'er all I have left now............ But its all right. I must let go so that I can move on.
To anyone who reads this blog, cherish the people in your life because you dont know when they might have to go.

I have spent years trying to define something that can not be defined, out of hopes that I may find an answer to a question that would unbreak my heart. I have read countless books and have spoken to numerous people of various ages and no has been able to give me an exact precise definition. What is Love?????????? How can I recognize it when I encounter it if I don't know what it is. This question has haunted and tormented since the day she walked out of my life. I took her for granted and toyed with her emotions because I thought she could be replace like the others, but I was wrong. I thought that I'd forget about her in a week, but here I am still thinking about her. Wondering if it was love. Is that the reason why I am unable to forget about her or why these feelings that I have for her still remains? I dont know. I'm begining to think that I'm not suppose to know either. Maybe for the first time in my life I should trust my heart and not my mind................